Lots of people have told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend’s ex. They wholeheartedly believe that it’s wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they’d never talk to that person again. They believe this is something everybody knows, that they’re just following the rules. What I’ve noticed, though, is that every person I’ve heard espouse this worldview was straight. This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities. If you’re gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend’s ex at some point. Queer communities are often small and insular, and once you’ve found one, you tend to hold on to it for dear life. It’s difficult to meet people you’re romantically interested in beyond an already-defined circle, and outside of your city’s queer scene, most people you run into are likely to be straight. Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista. Queers don’t tend to expect our dates to come into our lives completely free of prior complication.
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Subscriber Account active since. Sometimes when you develop feelings they happen to be for your friend’s ex. But, pursuing these feelings might not always be worth it. Here are some potential red flags to consider if you’re trying to decide whether or not dating someone your friend has dated is a good idea. Whether the relationship went down in flames or if two people who truly loved each other realized that things just weren’t going to work out, most breakups can be tough.
And some can be worse than others.
After four months of trying to get back together with me, my ex-boyfriend gave up and is now dating my best friend.
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My Best Friend Is Dating My Ex Girlfriend And The World Says It Was My Fault
Jordan and I had been together for just over six months when I knew. Even so, I got stuck in a mentally exhausting loop, torn between the guilt of breaking up, and the pain it would cause, and the anxiety of continuing our relationship. It took me days to process, to come up with the right words and pick up the phone.
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Oh, Janeen, Janeen, Janeen. What am I going to do with you? Let’s break this situation down and count all your mistakes: 1 NEVER break up with someone unless you mean it. Only break up with someone once. If you thought that the “breakup” would only be temporary, then that’s your biggest mistake. What did she do wrong? She is playing by the rules and you are being a sore loser.
I don’t want to be too hard on you because I’m sure you are hurting, and that’s payback enough. But you asked how to handle this situation. Well, the first thing you should do is learn from it. Admit your errors to yourself and accept that the situation is nobody’s fault but your own. You’ve been trying to control the situation by dropping hints and manipulating, hoping that people will react the way you want them to and that you’ll get your way without ever having to come out and ask for it.
But you’re not a puppet master and they aren’t puppets. They are real people with hopes and dreams, just like you.
“My friend is dating my ex. I’m sad”
Last Updated: September 1, References. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed , times.
The heart wants what the heart wants, but is dating your ex’s friend actually ok? Now, you want to start dating their friend. If your relationship with your ex was super casual, you ended on good terms, or it’s been “My ex and I only talked for a month so I felt like I didn’t owe her much of an explanation.
Submit Cancel. I thought it was just a normal fight, and it will be solved in a few days, but it became the end of my love story. It has been 6 years since that day, and she moved on to find a good person to live her life with. And how do I know that he is a good person? Because he is my best friend. Yes, it is hard for me to know that my friend cheated me, but when it comes to love, everything is fair right?
Yes, it hurts me, kills me, makes me crazy, but all I can do is cry. She was my world, my oxygen, my starting and my ending.
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After getting over the initial shock, I did what any good friend would do: I said I was OK with it and wished her well. She lied to me. For two months, my best friend was talking to my ex. I broke up with him four months ago. She waited until the last minute to tell me.
I split up with my ex a year ago and quickly started dating. I met someone nice, but within weeks I discovered that my ex and my best friend had started a relationship. When I found out, I felt a rage I had never experienced. There are rare instances when people establish a real friendship afterwards, but that requires a suitable cooling-off time first. The real betrayal is that of your best friend. Honesty and trust are the foundations of friendship and she has effectively trashed both.
The chances of maintaining a friendship with her is unlikely, particularly if she is still dating your ex.
9 signs you probably shouldn’t date your friend’s ex
In the passenger seat was my high school boyfriend. We had become infatuated with one another senior year, and we were now facing the inevitable relational shift: going to different colleges. Our chosen colleges were three hours apart and neither one of us had a car or money.
Now dating my love you are just say that can think about your ex boyfriend quotes about my ex-boyfriend. Top fallen recovers new movies. People in any case.
There are a few different things that happened during the time I was newly separated that caused me to classify myself as temporarily psychotic, one of those being when I figured out “my ex is dating my friend! I seriously felt like I was going to go insane. Here was a woman who I thought was my good girlfriend. We had gotten together a few times and I had told her things — personal things about my ex and our relationship, why I was getting divorced, etc. I shared things with her and trusted her.
Weeks later, I saw my ex leaving her house.